i am oh so blessed

You know how you American people love to say "count your blessings"? Well, let me tell you...I lost count of mine a long time ago. As if having an amazing family isn't enough, Jesus also gave me these two bitchin' dogs to call my own. This post is dedicated to them, my sweet little bundles of love.
Petunia came into my life when we needed each other the most. She was in death row, and I was a mess. Having just moved here and missing the fam and friends like crazy, I was nothing short of a wreck. Of course Ammon helped, but he was also trying to get used to me being there and well...it was just insane in the membraine (INSANE IN THE BRAIN!). I decided to volunteer for No More Homeless Pets in Utah thinking I would be dog-petting and dog-walking, but instead I was stuck in an office, licking stamps and making phone calls to people who wanted nothing to do with me. Or pets, for that matter. After a week of that, I signed up to help at a Petsmart Adoption thing. Ammon and I had talked about how I should just focus on school and get a dog later, so I had no plans when I arrived at Petsmart on that beautiful, sunny day. As soon as I walked in, my heart started beating really fast and I felt like I was going to cry. So many great dogs without homes...why are people so irresponsible? I am still trying to figure it all out. Anyway, my job was to clean pee and poo (and I have no problem doing that...but if it's a baby's poo, I will not touch it with a gloved hand for less than $300) and take the pups out of their crates for walks around the parking lot. I hadn't really noticed Petunia until it came to be her turn to get walked. Her crate was on top of another dog's crate, and I was afraid she was going to tip it over from running around in circles in there. No, her crate was not big...she was just crazy and full of energy. So I got her out and just thought she was perfect. Her name was Katie. Totally cute, perfect Jack Russell. I read her info sheet and it stated she hated kids, men, high heels, boots, cats, other dogs...everything. And at that moment, I knew she had to be mine. I talked to the adoption lady, and she said, "No no, get another one...that one has been returned 5 times already and you'll just end up returning her as well." OH, NO YOU DON'T! Don't EVER challenge me to something I KNOW I am good at. And if there is one thing I am good at, it is dealing with dogs. I get them, they get me...it works. So that's how Petunia and I came to be. And now, we're inseperable. She is perfect. If it's late at night and I'm in a hurry for her to go pee, all I have to say is "Petunia, PEE!" and she does it. When Ammon asks, she just ignores him. He doesn't even believe me when I say she does it for me. Whatever, I have nothing to prove. Petunia and I don't need to brag about her intelligence, anyway. So anyway, my girl is perfect, beautiful, smart and so sweet. She loves to cuddle and she lets me kiss her face all the time. She just sits there and sometimes even closes her eyes. When I got her, she wouldn't even let me TOUCH her. I love her so much.
So now, on to Boomer. I call him Boom or Booms for fun. Or Boomie, cause it reminds me of Bloomingdale's...and he is just that fancy, mind you.
I got Boomie for a birthday gift, last year. He came from the Labrador Rescue of Utah. Ammon is DA BOMB, Boom is the best birthday present ever. Booms had been bounced around quite a bit. The rescue told us that his original owners gave him up because he is afraid of guns and loud noises, so basically, he is useless. And so am I, I guess, because guns scare the fuck out of me. Anyway, the owner guy (hunters rock my world, btw) too Booms to the vet and asked the vet to put him to sleep, because Boomer was useless to him. Well here at home Boomer is very useful. He helps out with the laundry, takes out the trash and vacuums every Saturday. Ammon complains that Boomie is too clingy, cause he likes to lay down ON your feet. And if you sit on the floor, he wants to sit down ON your lap. I personally wouldn't have him any other way.
Today Ammon and I took my pups to the park to swim. Seeing Boomer run and Petunia get in the water is one of my favorite things in the world. My dogs mean the world to me, and I love to make them as happy as they make me.
I doubt anyone read through all of that, but I just get carried away when I talked about those two. Not many people understand my love and devotion to animals, but my life wouldn't be as meaningful if I lived it with just boring people.

DOGS RULE, HUMANS DROOL!

cuuute!

so bored at midnight

I am... a wuss, a blog lurker, a fan of crappy tv and an animal lover.

I know...that as long as Ammon is around, things will be fine. And believe me, I know how stupid and cheesy that sounds, but it's so true.

I once...drank too much tequila, threw up on my hands, wiped it on my clothes and went to bed.

I wish...i had more time with the ones i love.

I hate..ignorance, snottyness, and people who thing they are hot stuff.

I hear... i need to stop trusting everybody.

I crave... hugs from my mom, dad, grandpa and grandma (that now lives in heaven).

I search... for love and understanding.

I wonder... what my life would have been like if i still hung out with my snotty friends in Brasil and hadn't moved here.

I regret... not opening my eyes to reality sooner in life.

I care... more than you'll never know about things you'll never understand. wow, that was kinda deep!

I always... try to be respectful and nice to everybody, especially people who don't deserve it (what's up, tucker?).

I am not... the sweetest person ever, but believe me I try.

I believe... the children are our future.

I dance... for Boomer and Petunia all the time and they totally watch. Petunia even tilts her head!

I sing... way more than I should. And I sing crappy Aerosmith songs into Ammon's ears to annoy him. Jannie's Got a Gun is a hit at our home.

I don't always... bite my tongue when I should.

I win... at chess games, 99.9% of the time. PREZ OF THE CHESS TEAM, 1998-2000 REPRESENT!

I listen... to everybody, and I love it.

I can usually be found... eating.

I am happy about... my life! it's pretty fucked up right now (it will calm down soon, I am hoping), but it's still a lot more than I could have ever wished for.

I tag... Silky (Lacyyyyy!!!! hahahaha sorry, it's late), Ann, T-Bone and that about sums up my blog's readers! Woohoo!

I am so off to bed.

for Ammon

Ammon hates this baby more than anything. Whenever he is making me mad, I pretend to be all excited and ask him to come and sit down next to me so he can see this totally cool bike I just found. And then I play this video really loud and he gets PISSED. love it!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

every time I go on a roller coaster, my gums get dry from smiling all big and then when I stop smiling, my lip gets caught on my gums. I look just like Mary Murphy.
I am so sleepy that I can't stop laughing.

FANTASTIC.

So I haven't started my job yet but let me tell you, I can already tell it's going to be bad. I won't be giving any info about names because the blog world is insanely small and I am not planning on having anybody who works with me telling the other employees about it. So let's get started! Get ready to be grateful for your job.
So my boss, we'll call him Tucker (cause it rhymes with FUCKER) has been giving me attitude the moment we met. Let's go over a few of his comments, shall we?

"Oh look at this, I am TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU!", meaning "check me out, I am MANAGER of this awesome place you are going to have the privilege of working at!

"After working here for a year, you get a really cool pin. I am getting a really great watch next week for having worked here for 5 years, I can't wait!"

"Your watch is a Cartier, I would NEVER buy one of those."

Me: Tucker, can you help me with this form? English is my third language and I don't understand what it is asking...
Tucker: I am not allowed to help you, fill out what you understand.
Me: No, I just have one question.
Tucker: AGAIN, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO HELP YOU. DO YOUR BEST.
So then we call this number to report our answers and I told the lady that I didn't understand what the form wanted me to put and she then asked me why Tucksters hadn't helped me. Ah, the joys of dealing with sweet people.

I just called Tucker and asked when I can get trained. Here is our conversation:

Me: Hi Tucker, it's Flavia, how are you?
Tucker: FANTASTIC.
Me: Good! I was just wondering when I can come in and get trained...
Tucker: I had you scheduled for yesterday, WHY didn't you come in?
**FYI, Tucker gets annoyed every time I ask anything. I went into work to tell him about my hours and schedule, and he got annoyed and told me to tell him later when he had time to write it down. And on Thur when I went in for orientation, he told me to call him today (Monday) to see when I would get trained. So why the FUCK did he schedule me for yesterday?!?!?)
Me: Because no one told me...uhhhh...well, when can I get trained now?
Tucker: Call me back in two hours and we'll see.

WOW. Need I say more? I am going to cry. I felt like such an idiot! I decided I would kill him with kindness (or just plain kill him, at this point) but now, I feel like even if I do everything right, he will screw me over! Who is mean like that for no reason? Seriously! I don't think I've ever met a more arrogant man in my life. And, just to remind everybody, I will be making $7.35 an hour.
Please give me some words of encouragement, guys! C'mon!

lagoooon

That's what Ann and I did last night. it was da BOOOOOOMB!
We also watched some people dancing with ugly outfits. Ann thinks one of them was Ammon. Haha.

I just want to tell you guys how fucking (woohoo!) proud I am of my country getting all these medals at the olympics. And by "all these medals" I mean 8.
I think people don't understand how hard life in my country is. If you are good at a sport, your chances of getting a sponsor are pretty slim. the guy that won a bronze medal for judo said that it took him 10 years to go from brown belt to black belt because he didn't have the $100 to pay for the test that he would have to take. And that's so awesome that he didn't give up! His mom and aunt mentioned that they would only have bread and water to eat sometimes, but the guy still went to Judo practice. And then you see a guy like Michael Phelps, who does NOTHING but swim all day and people are amazed at what a good swimmer he is. c'mon.

I got a man!

I love these cheesy things.

1. What is his name? Ammon Leon Pate.

2. Who eats more? He does, but he eats good-for-you food.

3. Who said "I love you" first? I'm sure I did.

4. Who is taller? It's pretty easy to beat 5'3.

5. Who is smarter? We are smart about different kinds of things. Ammon is really smart about everything that matters, like politics and interesting stuff. I am smart about not so useful things, like dog breeds and who draws for what designer. OH and I can spot a fake handbag from MILES away.

6. Who is more sensitive? I am, by a million.

7. Who does the laundry? Me. I actually kind of like it. I do ruin things, but I'm learning.

8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Laying down, I'm on the right side.

9. Who pays the bills? He does! I'm awful with money.

10. Who cooks more? I'm trying to cook more, but he cooks way more than me.

11. Who is more stubborn? Both of us!

12. Who is the first to admit they are wrong? We both admit it.

13. Who has more siblings? He does.

14. Who wears the pants in this relationship? We each wear a leg of the relationship pant.

15. What do you like to do together? We like to travel a lot...and eat. OH I think ride bikes is number one, though. We love riding our bikes to the Farmer's Market every Saturday morning to eat Belgian Waffles.

16. Who eats more sweets? ME. By far.

17. Guilty pleasures? Bike stuff. He loves bikes. As soon as he bought his Bianchi, he already wanted another one. It's so cute.

18. How did you meet? I am sure everyone knows this already, but here goes: I knew his brother Elias and was hanging out with him and his friend Bryan. We had to go to his house and Ammon was there. I sat on the corner, all embarrassed because I was still wearing my lame plaid skirt and knee high uniform from school and of course, Ammon made fun of me. I got a crush on him right that second!

19. Who asked whom out first? Hmmm...there wasn't much of an asking out that went on. I asked him to come to Brasil to visit me, I think that's about as close to a date we ever got.

20. Who kissed who first? Ammon and I made a plan over the phone that I would pick him up at the airport (the first time he came to brasil) and we would kiss in the car. We would be listening to my favorite No Doubt song and it would be all perfect and stuff. So when Ammon finally got in my car from the airport, we just started kissing and giggling and it was hilarious. I just remember blushing really bad. But it was the best kiss ever.

21. Who proposed? Again, not much of a proposal. We just always knew we were gonna do it. We lived in separate apartments by Trolley Square and after about 6 months that I had been here, I got home from school and saw a guy dying from an overdose. I freaked out. Ammon came home, and we just thought, eh, we are gonna get married anyway, let's just go find a place and move outta here! Proposals sometimes seem weird to me when it comes to Ammon, cause I've known him for so long. We have more of a "best friends who have sex" relationship.

22. His best features and qualities? Wow. Um, my favorite quality of Ammon's is how he just listens to me when I cry. He always pays attention to everything I say. He doesn't judge me and the things I like. He doesn't make fun of me when I don't know something. He teaches me something new every day, which is amazing. He loves me for who I am, faults and all. He cooks for me. He puts my towel in the drier so it is warm when I get out of the shower. He makes me laugh like nobody else can. He makes me feel like a babe. My family is in love with him, especially my grandpa. He is patient and sweet. I would so not be in the United States if he wasn't a part of my life. Just the things I go through at Border Patrol every time I come back from Brasil...my goodness. Oh and for his features...he has the most delicious body I have ever seen. I better not write anymore cause he'll be mad at me if he reads this.

the FUCK blog

hey friends!
i am thinking of changing my blog's name from Hello Kitty to just FUCK. like in CAPS. cause that says a lot about me, that i swear. i mean, really. are your eyes burning? you better stop reading my blog now. i will be posting porn videos, naked people pictures, and all sorts of nasty stuff. MAYBE i'll sometimes post some kind of gorgeous hangbag or goody that i am dreaming about, but other than that, this blog will be all about the nasty stuff.
speaking about the nasty stuff, my grandpa has cancer. and it's not getting better. you know what word i like to use when i think of cancer? the word FUCK. or how it FUCKS everything up. i lost my grandma to cancer 3 years ago and that was awful. now my grandpa has it. FUCK that. i have cried so much, like can't breathe crying, and i am so sick of it. my years of theatre have taught me how to fake all kinds of emotion, but as soon as i get home i just can't hold in the tears anymore. FUCK cancer. and FUCK being sad.
tomorrow i have to get my MMR shot tomorrow and it makes me all FUCKED up. like all tired and stuff, it sucks. and the worst part is that i had the lame shot in junior high, but my records got lost or something.

UGH I JUST SAW THE COMMERCIAL FOR RINGLING BROS CIRCUS AND THOSE GUYS ARE SUCH (LET'S KEEP THE THEME GOING! YEAH!) FUCKERS TO THEIR ANIMALS! I HATE THE CIRCUS.

i have to go to bed. i just wanted to write an offensive blog in honor of some friends of Tara. I love Tara and guess why she loves me? CAUSE SHE DON'T JUDGE! way to go t-bone, plus 500 points for you. not only are you super cute, you are also SMART for not judgying people! rock and roll. And thanks Ann and Lacy, for also not judging me. And Brett too, but Brett is just so FUCKING (yeah!) nice that you would just expect that from him. I love you guys.

OH one more thing: Brasil played Argentina and Argentina beat us 3 to 0. how FUCKED up is that? jeez.
And just in case you guys are wondering, the only swear word i don't EVER EVER say is GOSH damn it. i HATE that one and i think it's way more offensive than any other word, even the C bomb! YEAH ANN!

"pursuing other applicants"

so, today i got denied for the first time when applying for a job. and this is so lame, because i knew i wouldn't get it but i tried anyway. i have no idea why i tired, but hey...i did. i got interviewed for management position at abercrombie and fitch. do i shop there? no. have i ever even worked in retail? no. but i wanted to try it. the guy that interviewed me was really nice, but kind of dumb. he was like, 30 years old and had been with abercrombie for 5 years. not exactly my idea of a stellar job, but what do i know. so he kept on asking me all these "leadership" questions and quite honestly, i am not very good at bossing people around or even telling people what to do. obviously, he saw that. he just told me that his boss decided to "pursue other applicants" but that i am great and "hey, best of luck to ya!". right. idiot. like that makes me feel any better! and who says "best of luck to ya!" anyway? douche bags do. BUT, i already had a banana republic job up my sleeve...i got offered it yesterday. it's just, i don't...it's part time and the pay blows. but at least i won't have to prepare food or get treated like crap cause someone's steak isn't cooked properly...right? and i get amazing discounts...so i'll look cute. and it's right by my house. and i'll be able to go to school part time too, which is what i should do anyway.
ammon made me feel a lot better by telling me that he has been denied for jobs he applied for too...so we have that in common as well. we are total and complete soul mates now. meant to be, and written in the stars.
let's hang out soon, i miss you girls.
xoxo
ps: come to banana republic and visit me!!! i start like....thursday, i think.

vanessa

see the girl with the green eyes? yeah, that's my cousin's best friend. i'd like to look like her for a day or two.

for little L

Brasil pride!

So everybody knows I am in love with my country. Ammon has said that I am worse than a Texan when it comes to my pride. Well, my pride just got a little bigger...we just got Bronze medals in the men and women's division of Judo! WOO-MOTHER FUCKIN-HOO! Let me tell you, I cried. Watching two people who grew up poor, who mentioned they sometimes didn't have money for food and obviously didn't have money to take lessons, but beat all odds and won medals. How cool is that? I love my country for so many reasons, but the main one is that we are fighters! We don't give up. I know how much potential my contry has, and I have been saying for over 5 years now that I have faith in our economy and that it will get better for everyone in Brasil. You people just wait, give us a few more years and we'll show you how amazing we are!!!!

ammon's birthday

so, for all of you that didn't know, my lovely husband's birthday is next month. he told me he would love to get a horse for his birthday so he can give it to me. you can take your pick from this page:

http://www.taylorarabians.com/page5.html

and also, while we are on the horse topic, i would like for you all to look at this guy (isaac):

http://www.taylorarabians.com/page24.html

he went to school with me, and always treated me like crap cause he thought he was cool. well guess what folks, he's the one that has to jack off the horses at his family's ranch so they can sell their special sauce for a brazillian dollars (love you, ann!).

WHO'S THE LOSER NOW, ISAAC???? MY THREE FRIENDS ARE MAKING FUN OF YOU AND YOUR GOOEY, SPERMY HANDS! GWAHAHAHAAAAA!

a girl can dream...

so here is something I don't think i've shared with you guys: I am an espresso lover. Ammon and I even have an espresso machine at home, so I can have some amazing coffee every morning. The bummer about this new Jura machine is that not only is it 3,700 dollars (yes, I wrote that correcly), it is also fully automatic. That makes me feel like a monkey in space, when all I have to do is sit there and maybe push some buttons to get a smooth and creamy drink.



I am also dreaming of this purse. I have last season's, and after buying the royal blue one from this season, I can't afford another one. I wish my love of haute couture handbags would go away...

WHY?

Why are my images not being loaded? This blows. I was all proud of my dinner and now I can't show it off! Whatever. I'll post it tomorrow and you'll all be jealous.
So I just got back from working out (no Tara, I still haven't lost those 10lbs I gained forever ago, make fun of me all you want) and it was hell on earth. There is a gym here in our apartment complex and it is pretty good, except when there are sweaty people in there with you. You see, I'm a selfish bitch. I like things to myself and I hate to share. I like it when the gym is empty and I can close my eyes and bite my bottom lip and sing with Rhianna and Kanye West. I'm nerdy like that.
After Mr. Sweaty left the elliptical today, I thought my troubles were over...no. 15 minutes into my workout, Betsy (she is like, the little tour-giver person of our complex. Maybe "mystery man" can tell me what that's called in English?) walks in the gym with a fresh batch of cookies. I love cookies. We have them fresh in the office every day. I avoid going to the office at all costs because of them. So anyway, the aroma fills the air as I am trying to focus on my workout. Next song on my play list? "dat dat dat dat dat don't kill me, can only make me stronger", sings Kanye. "I OWN this elliptical!" I think to myself. 10 minutes later, here comes Betsy with two really cute girly men eating cookies. She is showing them around the complex. Great. Only 30 more minutes left, easy. 10 minutes later, Jared, one of the maintenance guys, walks in and wants to chit chat. Dear Lord. After he leaves, Lee, the other maintenance guy, decides to come in. I'm not kidding. At this point, I resorted to desparate measures: I started listening to Kylie Minogue remixes. She gets me pumped like no other. I am a big fan of Euro Pop. I was listening to it so loud that when Jared walked in for the second time, he didn't even say anything. HAHA, in your face, Jared.
Now I am going to go hike with Ammon and my sweet, sweet dogs. I'll post pictures tomorrow.
Thanks for reading my blog, girls. I feel really cool.

brasil is tha shit

tagged by lacy!

JUST KIDDING! No one has even read my blog yet. I basically tagged myself.


I am... a huge animal lover. there are probably only about 10 people i love more than i love animals.
I know... that I need to start running more and going to yoga everyday, but I keep putting it off because i'm dumb.
I want... for people to be more respectful to each other and to be nicer to animals.
I once... was a little rebel, but now that I am an adult i'm just a wuss.
I wish... I had time to take horseback riding lessons.
I hate... ignorance. It's not bliss!
I miss... having my mom and dad nearby.
I hear...the ASPCA is planning to shut down at least 30 puppy mills by the end of this month. YESSSS.
I crave... fancy Chris Blue chocolate all the effing time.
I search... PEREZHILTON.COM to read about dumb celebrities and to feel better about myself.
I wonder... if I'll ever be able to feel comfortable in downward dog for more than 3 minutes.
I regret... not trying harder to be friends with my dad before he got shot, even though he was a complete fucker.
I care... way too much about everything.
I always... laugh at my own jokes, even though no one else does.
I am not... ever going to give up fighting for what I believe is right.
I believe... that Brasil is the coolest place in the world.
I dance... all the time, and my dogs watch. Boomer, especially.
I sing... in the car and tap my hand on the steering wheel. I don't care how lame it looks!
I don't always... pick up my clothes. I'm getting better!
I win... the award for most emotional person ever. I cry all the time, happy crying and sad crying.
I listen... to the advice my mom and dad give me.
I can usually be found... either eating, taking naps or hiking with my pups!
I am happy about... my life with Ammon. He is da bomb.
I never.... make fun of people unless they deserve it. BOOYA!

So I would like to start my first post by getting something off my chest.
When I was 8 years old, my parents made the decision to move to the good ol' US of A. I loved the idea of moving here, even though I didn't speak very much English. My mom told me it would be easy to learn and that we would go to Disneyland often, so I was sold on the idea. The thing is, before I even learned English, I already spoke Italian, understood french and was fluent in Portuguese, making English my fourth language. Practically a child genius.
I grew up with tutors and being corrected by my parents, which I don't really mind. I do mind, however, when a person who doesn't know anything about me (or bothers to find out) corrects me just so they can get a boner from it. Like cops, you just know that when they are pulling a person over they are totally pumped...literally. And that brings me to the "mystery" person I am talking about. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy. But seriously, out of the 4 times I have ever seen him in my life, he has corrected me about something at least twice in a 2-3 hour period. Ammon corrects me all the time, but he either makes me laugh about it first or he corrects me nicely, not with a "I know more than you, wah wah wah!" attitude. I know all of the three maybe four of you Reading this blog don't know me very well yet, but I promise I'm nice. I have been treated like shit by some totally awesome, much cooler than me people while growing up and I swore I would never make anyone feel the way I felt growing up.
OH I need to tell a quick story. There was this girl named Liesel in my 4th grade class that I immediately adored. Keep in mind I didn't speak any English at the time, which makes this story even cooler. So Liesel was da bomb, taught me all kinds of awesome new American words and played tag with me during recess. When we moved to the River bottoms, turned out the home girl lived right next to the place I took horseback riding lessons, total bonus. Anyway, I loved Liesel. She had really thick glasses, was about 3 feet taller than me, skinny...oh and who can forget that matted and oily hair? She was perfect. After I switched schools in 9th grade (that's when I made the choice to go to Meridian) we lost touch. Fast forward to last year when my momma was in town, we went to her super snotty friends' house. My mom tells me that "C" is Liesel's uncle. "C" is my mom's friend's husband. So I start freaking out, asking about her and everything, and "C" told me Liesel had committed suicide a few months earlier. Liesel always struggled with depression and was teased the whole fucking day while we were at school. She was and IS so amazing, and she taught me to embrace my nerdyness and the people that are worth my time will embrace their nerdyness right along with me. Moral of this story: don't be a fucker to people. You are not better than anyone else because you are cuter or have more money. Your shit does stink.
xoxo