TONIGHT!

Tara, Brett and Ammon are coming to Whole Foods to have dinner with me tonight. Has anyone else (ANN, LACY, JACK, and even ANNIE or KATE?!) even MENTIONED they want to come and visit me? No. Thanks a lot, everybody.
Last night was another hilarious night. I am just going to really get into the highlights because I want to take a nap in a minute.
2 people didn't show up to work yesterday. Yeah. Good idea, fuck faces. Everything was KRAZY, from beginning to end. We had no stuff sliced for sandwiches, no pizzas made, no coffee in the coffee thing holder that you have to PUMP to make come out. Complete disaster. This one guy wanted a BLT and since we were out of bacon, I couldn't cater to the baby's needs. So the dude huffs all loud, like his world is caving in, says he doesn't want me to make him anything else and when I tell him to have a good day (I have to admit I kind of did the "have a good day!" with a huge smile on my face on purpose) he tells me, in his heavy New York accent, "YEAH, WHATEVAH". I had to turn around so he wouldn't see me laughing. Go home and make yourself a BLT, loser! I got bigger and better things on my hands...like reading VOGUE during my 10 minute break.
Ammon, Lacy and Ann's boss, John, was at Whole Foods yesterday. What a nice guy. My boss is an ultimate fighter with large tattoos on his neck. Nothin' wrong with that, he is actually really cool. Just sayin'.
When I was getting ready to go home yesterday, I was asked to take out the garbage. I didn't really mind, because my actual biggest nightmare is having to do dishes. We switch off and I guess my day has not come YET. So I take all the garbage in these two large rolling cans and I notice there is a party going on at Jamba Juice. Hey, btw, Whole Foods owns Jamba. Tell your friends, it's not really common knowledge yet so you'll look cool and "in the know". It's a bunch of 16 year olds and one of the girls even had a damn tiara and balloons. I actually huffed out loud and rolled my eyes. About 10 girls start walking in my direction and as one of them passes me, she goes (get ready, it's good!) "SHIT, THAT STINKS!" and her and her genius friends giggle. You would think it was some kind of joke, like when a lady told me that the panini she had in Italy was different than the one we serve at Whole Foods, but no jokes were going on here. By the way, I love it when snotty people mention Europe cause I start quizzing them about stuff (like where they were and where they ate and if they saw certain things) and they all get kind of nervous. People are dumb. Anyway, after the girl said my garbage stunk, I imagined myself taking the two largest bags out of the rolling can and holding a bag in each hand. I would start spinning like a super hero, getting faster and faster with time. After a few seconds I would be spinning so fast that the girls would be both confused and amazed at my spinning skills and that's when I would hit them in the face with the garbage bags. The bags would explode, getting chicken juice and ground up coffee beans all over their ugly, cheap outfits. I would smile and go about my business.
Enjoy your Saturday night guys, I have next Saturday OFF! FUCK YEAH!
Hey Ann, I wore my TEAM BLAIR shirt to work yesterday and this really sassy cook said, "WHO THE FUCK IS BLAIR AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YO ON HER TEAM?". Sad. So sad.