yo yo yogaaaa !

So as I was reading Annie's blog today, I realized it has been 7 months since my last post. Wow. So much has happened since then! I feel like I should update my three lovely readers whom I love very, very much.

Almost 6 months ago, I started doing yoga teacher training (we'll call it TT, for short) with some amazing people. All ages, all sizes, all kinds of everything. My TT is the first one that is accredited by the state of Utah AND The Yoga Alliance, which means I am the real deal, peeps. Since then, my yoga practice has improved tons and I feel like I know how to relax in a way I never thought possible, unless it involved Tylenol PM. I have taught quite a few classes, including Upward Bound kids and girls that are currently in the Observation Unit in SLC. Love those girls, by the way. Love their sassyness and the dirty looks I get from them when I make class extra hard. It all pays off when I get sweaty hugs from them at the end of each practice. Ew I feel like I am this girl I know that sells Mary Kay shit and all she talks about is how Mary Kay has changed her life on her blog...sorry girls.

Boomer and Petunia are doing great, spoiled like always. Work is still crazy, I do enjoy being the only girl that works at the Tower though...and I'm finally getting the hang of it, too. People listen to my recommendations like I am some kind of Film Guru and people (as in boys and girls) flirt with me in hopes of getting free stuff. Suckers! Working at the Tower is much better than working at the Broadway, but I do like both places. The pay es no bueno, but at least I have a job...and I job I like.

Other than that, not much is going on. Let me know if anyone wants their ass kicked by me and yoga, I'll do it for free until I graduate next month. Looks like I'll be teaching stinky crust punks at the Boing! Collective and quite a few friends from work...so I'm excited. But yeah. Awesome. Writing on here again feels kind of awkward. Weird.

ps: the pose on the top of the page, Astavakrasana, is my current fave.

am I in ASPEN?

(that's my PERFECT dog riding in the back seat like a little gentleman!!!!)

So everybody knows I love taking my mutts hiking, right? And I ALWAYS go to Red Butte because I love how wide the trail is and I can see my big yellow dog at all times. Petunia goes on a leash, but we jog it out so she has fun as well. ANYWAY, I am SO bugged. I just barely got back from a walk with my dogs (Red Butte) and SOOO many people were freaking out about Boomer! YES, he got an allergy test done and YES, that's why he has his side shaved! JEEZ people, it's not like my dog has some kind of fucking dog disease that is going to get on your fucking purebred schnauzer! You don't fucking SHOO my dog when he wants to sniff your dog! You don't need to look at me like I am a piece of shit dog owner for taking my leper dog hiking! HE HAS HIS SIDE SHAVEN, PEOPLE! It's not like he is missing an eye ball or a LEG!
So on that note, THREE people shoo'ed poor Boomer away, 2 people gave me crusties and only ONE person, a lady with three MUTTS, was all nice about Boomer's shaved side and asked me if he was okay. Another lady goes, "WOW, your dog got into a REALLY bad fight!" It's like yeah, dog genius lady, my dog got into a HUGE fight and he got perfectly lined black polka dots on his side from it! WOAH! It was like a GEOMETRIC dog fight! And then this other guy who had this like, MATCHING outfit to take his cute dog for a walk got all annoyed that my dog got some fucking SNOW on him from running around! MY GOODNESS, PEOPLE! Keep your clean ass home if you don't want to get sweaty and SNOWY! And I mean, who wants to get SNOWY, right?! EW. I felt like I had taken my dog to like, some resort town where dogs aren't supposed to be off leash or something! I am never going to take my dogs in the afternoon again, IT SUCKED! they had fun, though. I wanted to let Petunia go off leash when people gave me crusties so she could go and bite their faces off.


ps: i am going to make my blog private, so leave your email and i'll add you.

WHY?

neon colors are back (LOVE!) and marc jacobs is making me sad again. thanks a lot, marc.

wah wah wah

i just called my parents and found out that my mom and dad, grandpa, val, lelis and edson are all eating PIZZA at my FAVORITE PIZZA PLACE to celebrate Val's recovery! oh, how i wish i was there...i want to hug them ALL so bad!

say WHAT?!

ps: this entry sounds like crap because i am writing it and talking on the phone at the same time.

living where i live isn't cheap. nothing is cheap these days, i guess. but one of the perks of living where the husb and i live is that there are ASSIGNED parking spots. i took it for granted until they started remodeling the pillars on the bottom floor and i had to park on the street for 2 months, but i am very grateful for it now. which is why it pisses me off to NO END when i come home and there is a car in my effing spot. today there were literally 10 other spots, but the beast of a man chose MINE. now, if there is a van parked there or if it is a person who is cleaning an apt or doing remodeling (i have those people's cars memorized, thank you very much), i let it slide. my spot is right by the steps, and i would hate to haul a vacuum across the parking lot to then go up the stairs. and plus, the people who clean here are SO nice. i've even attempted my spanish with a few of them, and they understood me (so shove it, all of you who think i don't know espanol). good thing smiling is a universal thing though. ANYWAY, the car that was in my spot was a jacked up Grand Cherokee. he got some minus points right off the bat for the U2 and Linkin' Park stickers (sorry, anna banana) and for the car being jacked up, so we were already off to a very bad start. as i start to doodle a note for the effer, the dude comes out talking on his cell phone. he was already annoyed when he saw that i was parked behind his car, but as he looked at me i said "HEY! that's my SPOT!" (please remember how geeky i am and how not even my meanest scowl and voice scare anyone, including my terrier). just when things couldn't get any cooler, he goes...actually, this is easier:

Flavia: HEY MOTHER EFFER, THAT'S MY EFFING SPOT! (just kidding, i didn't say it like that)

the dude: just a MINUTE, i'm on the PHONE!

Flavia: ?! (i hate a WTF look on my face)

the dude: i'm LEAVING, okay? JEEEEZ.

yeah. no apologies, no nothing. wanna hear something else that's bad? i got an awesome vest at j. crew that makes me smell like b.o. i know what you are thinking, how can that be?! well, the armpits are too high on it and there is no ventilation, so therefore i smell like b.o. now. and all during french class, i felt embarrassed because i knew people could smell me. and i got up early and showered AND washed and blow dried my hair! so i looked so fresh and so clean clean (love that song), but smelled like b.o. awesome.

change of heart

i just came back from walking my dogs. man, my dogs are so great. they know exactly what to do to cheer me up.

as petunia noticed that these two anoying white dogs were sitting at their window, she decided to provoke them. i usually don't let her, but she just looked so cute and mean that i had to. so she barks, growls, runs from side to side...all of this on her hind legs, because since the window is high up, she wanted to keep an eye on the pups while being a ho to them. so a few seconds later, when the two dogs were pissed off enough, she decided to pee on their yard. not only that, but she trots a little further and poops in their yard as well! she is so rad. i do feel i have a little petunia in me most the time.

a little while later, boomer finds a spot to poop. he is extremely choosy about where he poops, he usually trots from side to side for about 30 seconds until he finds the perfect spot. after he is done, he usually kicks the grass behind him. now lacy help me out: is that to SPREAD the scent or CAMOUFLAGE it? i am hoping you know the answer. it could be both for all i know. anyway, i like it when there is snow on the ground because boomer kicks the snow and it looks way cute. so today, as he goes to kick the snow, petunia stands right behind him and gets a bunch of snow thrown at her face! she sneezes and gets super pissed and flies at boomer's neck. they full on started wrestling in the middle of a building's yard! it was soooo cute! a car even slowed down! i'm sure the person thought i was an idiot for laughing while my dogs looked like they were killing each other, but petunia is the only one that bites boomer, boomer just sits there and makes funny sounds.

i feel a lot better and don't hate stuff as much. and you know what? fuck my test tomorrow, it's just french!

top things i hate

*disclaimer: i have a feeling this post will have a lot of swear words in it. sorry. well actually, i'm not sorry.

i'm sure you can tell i'm having a radical day. let's get this party started:

-shitty food. i know, no one really likes shitty food, right? wrong. americans love shitty food. and shitty coffee, too. if it's trendy, people buy it. starbucks, for example. yuck.

-tests. i have a french test tomorrow. i hate tests.

-stupid neighbors. there is this guy that lives under us that thinks he is awesome. he would be awesome, if it was like, 1995. he is probably my age, but he clearly is not keeping up with the times. yesterday i saw him getting out of his car and he did the look-at-someone-over-the-top-of-their-sunglasses thing, and i had to bite my tongue to not laugh. his mom probably told him his 1991 lexus is bad ass, and he believed her.

-people that think they are awesome, but NEWSFLASH! they are not. this one is a constant in my life. these kind of people follow me wherever i go. they are every where. i am sick of it and one day i will seriously lose it. (miss you, tara!)

-sluts. i counted 6 sluts today on my way to class. weren't UGG boots and skirts cool in like, high school? yeah. my point exactly.

i have to study, i'll continue working on this gem a little later.

be ready to be jealous!

guess who is HOME right now, all cuddled up in warm blankets? Yup, me, Boomer and the Toonce! I was really excited to be able to watch The City, Daddy's Girls and GG this morning, but unfortunately GG is a rerun. Bummer.
I slipped and ALMOST fell yesterday by the library at school and landed on my right ankle. It's been weak since I was 16 and tried to jump over a bush to land on the street, but landed in the gutter instead. Yeah, Ammon was there with me though so it wasn't that bad. But still, it hurts. he wrapped my ankle for me which proves he really does love me, since he had to stare at my feet for like over a minute. i think my feet are way cute, especially since they aren't all crocked from all my years of ballet, but everybody knows how bad ammon hates feet. a foot fungus spray commercial can ruin his whole day.
I haven't updated cause there really isn't much going on. Val is still cancer-free, i'm still not eating chocolate (6 more months! woohoo!) and things in Brasil are fine.
OH here is something awesome! Guess what Ammon and I watched at home yesterday? The Wrestler. You might be asking yourself, isn't that movie JUST BARELY out? oh yes, it is. let me tell you, it feels awesome to know people who know people that are film critics. i also want to watch that Shopaholic movie that looks totally lame but the person who did the outfits is the same lady who did Sex and the City. I will probably have to go by myself, I can't see ammon enduring 90 minutes of a crappy movie just for vintage Dior.
i am very excited to meet tara's baby today. can you imagine, a tincy tara? i can't wait. i've been praying all morning. btw, did you guys hear about the woman who had octuplets in LA? that's like, as many puppies as a Lab has! crazy.

Marley & Me and Olivia

Ah, such a clever title!
Saturday night I had a very special date to the movies: Olivia Pate, my fave niece. She is 9 years old. She is also da bomb. She didn't say one word during the two hour long movie! Yes, it helped that the film was about our favorite subject in the world (turns out Olivia is a dog lover like me! Woohoo!) but still, she was super mature and fun to be with. Her and her brother, Vincent, slept over last night. They are very well-behaved little kittens, but I still don't get HOW people can have all these kids and have fun things to do with them all the time. While Olivia and I went to the movies, Ammon stayed home with Vincent and played video games. And this morning, Ammon baked Dutch Babies for me and the kittens. What a sweetie! Heehee!
We will be going on a hike later, so I will post pictures tomorrow.
You should all be jealous, we are having a lot of fun.
ps: even though this was the second time I saw this movie, I still cried the entire time. dogs are so the best.

ASPCA article

On December 30, rapper DMX—known legally as Earl Simmons—pleaded guilty to one count of misdemeanor animal cruelty, among other charges for theft and drug possession. The charges stem from a raid in August 2007, when Maricopa County sheriff's deputies descended on Simmons’s Arizona home, finding 12 malnourished pit bulls and the remains of three dogs.

To assist law enforcement officials in their efforts to prosecute Simmons, the ASPCA’s Mobile Animal Crime Scene Investigation (CSI) Unit was called into action. Leading the forensic investigation, the ASPCA’s Dr. Melinda Merck examined the remains of the dead dogs recovered from his property."I was very impressed with the level of commitment from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department on this case," says Dr. Merck. "I have worked with many different law enforcement agencies all over the country, and the team working on this investigation was extremely dedicated."

For the record, Simmons is a repeat offender—in 2002, the rapper pleaded guilty to 13 counts of animal cruelty, charges resulting from the neglect of 13 pit bulls. As a result of this most recent prosecution, the rapper faces at least 90 days in jail, can never again own any animals and must attend an animal offender treatment program. A parole violation would send him to jail for more than 10 years. A sentence hearing has been scheduled for January 30.

"The ASPCA is proud to have had its expert staff be a part of this important case," says ASPCA President and CEO Ed Sayres. "Dr. Merck's knowledge and practice of veterinary forensics is truly at the forefront of animal cruelty investigations. With stronger evidence collected by Dr. Merck, law enforcement officials and prosecutors are able to get stronger convictions against those who commit these terrible acts."

run, petunia, run

have you ever had an idea that you felt was bad from the start? i have. i actually always have them, but i just tell myself i'll be fine. i made one of those decisions this afternoon.
i went to class in the morning, and when i got home, i decided to go crazy and clean everything. after that, i thought i'd take the pups for a hike. i waited til Ammon got home, hoping he'd come with me, but turns out he didn't want to. i am really afraid to hike in the dark, but i thought it was still pretty light out and that St. Francis would have all the animals (cougars, tigers, bears...animals that hang out at Red Butte Garden) stay put inside their little homes while i was out and about. i never recovered from the day Boomer got attacked by the moose, so i'm still pretty...you know, pretty freaked out. especially since Boomer "forgets" to listen sometimes when we go hiking.
Anyway, it started getting dark pretty fast. As soon as I started the hike, i saw a deer leg, femur exposed and all. i just prayed that the lil' critter that ate it would stay put til i got home. still, the entire hike (which i basically jogged out, since i was so scared of every little sound) i kept on thinking every person was like a t-rex in the distance that was going to devour my golden retriever/yellow lab mix and eat me and jack russell mix right after. i had no i.d. on me, so how were they going to identify my body? i've never had any cavities, so that wouldn't work. and the animal would probably eat all my skin, so they couldn't i.d. me with the help of my tattoos...yeah. scary shit.
but, St. Francis helped me out and i made it, guys. i'm still alive, skin, teeth and all. and i can still go to ann's dinner on friday. yay! that's what i call a lovely night.
ps:the sunset was beautiful and it was totally worth being scared for 30 minutes to witness it.

oui!

french class is hard, but i determined to learn that language even if it kills me. my dad is so proud, you have no idea.
yesterday during class i mentioned i was from brasil (probably the first words i ever spoke in that class...BRASIL PRIDE!) and today this boy that sits next to me (and asks really obvious questions) thought he'd ask ME a few questions as well. here is how it went down:

Boy: so you're from brasil?
Me: yes! it's the best place ever!
B: i don't know, i'm kind of neutral about it.
M: have you been there?
B: no, why should i go...?!
M: no reason, just wondering...(I was starting to get pretty annoyed, obvs)
B: so are you LDS?
M: uuuuh...?
B: you're NOT mormon?!?!?!?! (he was shocked, to say the least)
M: no, i'm catholic.
B: WHY?
M:...?
B: i mean, that's weird...!
M: how is being catholic weird?
B: it just IS. it doesn't make sense!

after that, i told him i had to get back to my magazine and we could talk later. thanks for saving my ass, Vogue.

Royal Bedroom

it is one of my dreams to sleep in a castle in europe. my dad never wanted to, because he complained it was too cold and drafty. it is one of my life goals to sleep in a royal bedroom like this one!!! (those pics are of a castle in paris, obvs)

cute!

Little Kid Cant Figure Out How To Drink - Watch more Free Videos

I felt guilty for laughing at the injured kid. this one is cute. i like how he goes "aaaaaaah!" after he drinks it. ammon does that, too. heehee.

ready or not, here i come!

French class starts tomorrow! Oui oui! J'adore Paris! Croissant! Petit fours! Yeah. I'm scared. I am 27 years old, and I am scred to go to class. hmmm.

In other news, Val's best friend had a 10 lb baby this weekend. She made it, T. My mom said the baby was almost Petunia-sized! Haha! I'm excited. Come out, G!

I am in LOVE with the purse that girl is carrying (notice it is just like mine, but mine is royal blue). She is coming out of Fashion Week in Rio de Janeiro. Ah, Fashion Week. I will one day do something fashion-related.

rosemary's baby

So last night it was pretty cold. As I was taking my pups out for one last pee (I take them on a rather long stroll at about 6-7pm, and then when 9-10pm comes around i just make them pee real fast out front), I was surprised by my down-the-hall neighbors. These aren't just good old regular neighbors, these peeps are AWESOME college people that dress cool and drive a green 4 Runner. The girl has been pretty rude to me before, and the guy is just dirty. Like "needs to shower" dirty, he hasn't like, sexually harassed me or anything. So anyway, as I am walking passed their door, the slut storms out and KNEES my Boomer on the riblets! And he even like, HUFFED to catch his breath! Lacy, can you believe this?! So Petunia is out for revenge as she tries to jump for the girl's jugular, but I stopped her just in time. I was so surprised and scared, I didn't even know what to say. I wanted to say "EXCUSE YOU!", but I thought she would kick my ass. She seems like that type. And then this morning, after I dropped Ammon off at work, the dirty guy was warming his car up and he SPIT on the ground as he was getting in. EW.

i wish...

one, i wish i was as skinny as this betty girl that does a fashion blog i read daily. two, i wish i lived in paris, like her. going to paris 10 times hasn't cured me of my paris fever...yet. i want to LIVE there.

which brings me to my new year's resolutions. you know how for lent, people give up something they love for a week? well i decided to go a tiny step over and give something up for 8 months. chocolate. chocolate and i love each other. i gave it up to ask for blessings for Val during her surgery and recovery. problem is, i have actual dreams that i am eating chocolate. mmm, i love chocolate. so i guess one of my resolutions is to be strong and find a new snack.

another of my resolutions is to go to yoga 5 times a week. i love love love yoga, so that won't be a problem...problem is, i never find time. i also want to eat healthier, still only eat chicken or fish once a week and not be anemic, and stop eating things that are bad for me. i love things that are bad for me. not alcohol and cigs, but you know...chocolate, cupcakes, macaroons, big bowls of pasta, 5 slices of settebello pizza, french fries, you name it. so yes, i will eat better. and i will go back to weighing 110bs, once i lose these damn 8 lbs.

i'll think of more as i go. OH i also want to be a better dog mom and go on hikes more than twice a week. AND i want to get a job!!!! i would love a job.

we'll see. OH i also want Gwen to be born so i can hold her and so she won't be a 9lb baby and kill T.

grateful

so yesterday was one of the best days of my life. no, i didn't get a new dog or found i am pregnant with triplets...instead, i got a best friend back. val had surgery yesterday to remove her tumor (she had HPV and never took care of it...) and after 7 hours of surgery, the doctors were able to remove the tumor and all (ALL!) the cancerous tissue. oh, how i cried. and laughed. at the same time. i couldn't stop hugging ammon and he finally asked me if i was that happy, how could i possibly still be crying? well, because i'm latin. and us latin folk cry when we are happy, sad, excited, scared...you know. kind of like how guns and roses has a song for every occasion (if you are feeling like a rebel: welcome to the jungle. romantic: november rain. really happy: paradise city. if you are pregnant: sweet child o' mine), us latin people can adapt our tears to whatever the need.

that's val up there on that picture. that's the dog she adopted. and those are her kids. and yes, one of her sons is wearing a Thundercats tshirt. i love that shirt.

so bring it on, 2009. i'm ready for whatever you have in store for me.

for lacy, with love

Little Kid Slammed by Door - Watch more Free Videos

pissed off at stuff and lacy

so normally i am a pretty chipper gal...i try to be positive, i am hardly ever in a bad mood and i worry about others before myself. i sound like a gem, right? not quite. being so sweet has taken a toll on me and i have been a grumpy bear the passed few weeks. my grumpyness goes away when i see the husband, but when i'm by myself i am so pissed off about everything i can't stand it! i don't know what is wrong with me. actually, i do. people piss me off. stupid people. i am pissed val has cancer and so many other fuck faces i know are healthy. i am pissed i am craving so much sugar. i am pissed about people who are selfish mother fuckers and only worry about themselves. and i'm pissed at lacy. yes, at lacy. i haven't seen miss lacy for a while, but she pisses me off. i just read her last entry to her blog and i am PISSED. i was pissed mass got cancelled, and reading the bullshit she wrote about herself made me huff out loud.

Dear Lacy:
You piss me off. How dare you say such negative things about yourself? I think you are so sweet and smart, generous, funny and all-around amazing, why the FUCK are you so hard on yourself? I can introduce you to plenty of losers, if you need a self esteem boost. If you want to go back to school, do it. But don't say you want to go back because you want to make something of yourself. Do you know what a doofus I am? that I am 27, got fired from a fucking grocery store and I am yet to graduate from school? Or maybe that I pay over $100 every month to go to Yoga and I haven't been to class in months?! Seriously. Or maybe that I dream about my dead dog at least once a week and giggle out loud and call out "HERSHEY!" in my sleep?! Lacy! Please. If you want to have a loser contest, I'll win. Don't even challenge me.
I adore everything about you and I hate feeling all helpless when you write sad posts. I am only writing this to you here because one, I don't have your email and two, you left the comments off on your blog.

I feel better. I am so classy, love it.